Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my she stealing things. I phoned the police buy was told no one was in the area to help. They said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up.
A minute later I ran again. 'Hello,' I said, 'I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them.'
Within minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: 'I though you said you'd shot them.' To which I replied: 'I thought you said there was no one available.'